And another thing

I've already written a blog post today but my brain is full of with things I want to say and these days I find myself rushed to get everything out and said before I forget it because believe me, I will forget it.

I want to say that there are things in my life I'm doing to get better, even if I do seem hateful and mean and angry and bitter. I don't think it represents a place of healing but I realized if I were to be facing the end of my life there are things I would feel bad for not having done or tried. It isn't a bucket list, it's me spending time investing in myself. If you invest in yourself it means you have hope for the future right?

I'm taking guitar lessons. I'm lousy at it. I don't think the lessons are very fun and I kind of dread them every week but I still want to learn to play. It's hell on the fingers, especially when you are suffering from hand-foot syndrome.

I signed up to take a bread baking class at the King Arthur Flour baking school. I've wanted to for years but could never find a time to do it. I'll take a whole week off next month and spend my vacation time up to my eyeballs in carbohydrate deliciousness.

Last weekend we went away to the mountains and I bought a whole bushel full of apples. I spent the last few days canning them. I must believe I'll still be around for a while if I'm going to make 2 dozen jars of apple butter when I'm the only one in my house that likes it. I guess that means I think I'll be around long enough to eat it.

My husband bought me a Peleton bike for my birthday and I let him. No...I encouraged him. Y'all just don't realize how cheap I am. That kind of expense about took my breath away. I justified that it will last me until forever... and when I said it I truly meant that to mean years and years. I love spinning. I'm enjoying something I enjoy.